What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
It’s been almost 9 years now since the day I got the call that my parents wanted to talk to me about my mom‘s MRI results. I distinctly remember that day, my husband and I were sitting in red Robin and my dad called and said to meet him and mom at Starbucks. (I remember thinking I had to know before I show up to this meeting so I made my sister tell me what was wrong with my mom. And she said yes it’s bad she has a brain tumor and they don’t know if she will be OK.)
My life would never be the same. You see my mom had Felt like my enemy when I was a teenager. But she had become my best friend. She was my best support system in mothering. And I had just had my fourth child Via an emergency C-section, but that’s a story for another day.
Losing my mom has literally been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. But it’s also been the best thing that ever happened to me. You may think that sounds so strange, but the truth is, I never knew what was missing until that day. That day began my journey to healing.
As a kid (and sometimes still) people talked about me as being a “difficult child”. But thankfully I’ve had great mentors in The last few years who have helped me to realize that I may have been perceived that way but possibly a different way to label my personality is I am a catalyst. (I’ve always said I didn’t fit in a box, and I guess the point of this post is That healing for me has meant I realized I could finally stop trying to fit in a box) I now realize God made me exactly how he wanted me and it’s OK to accept that and be grateful.
One of my good friends put it this way, I do tend to stir up “things” wherever I go. ?And some people aren’t comfortable with change. She said, Jen you are a catalyst. The world needs catalysts..
So point is. We can see our situations as hardship or blessing. But perception is everything.
I’m not gonna lie sometimes I felt I was too sad to move on. Sometimes I felt it was too hard. I’d never survive this. But, the fact that there was a huge void in my life when Mom got sick and went to heaven drove me to become a whole person and to accept who God made me rather than call my mom anytime things felt “not quite right”.
If reading this was helpful for you and you would like to know how my work with others could benefit you, message me OK?
P.s. Don’t forget, in order to have different results we have to make different Choices. ❤️