Metamorphosis

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Compassion with self is so important in the different changes we may go through in personal transformation.   When I first gave up dieting (before I met the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, I had been on a diet for over 20 years) I felt more secure about my change in mindset.  Sure, when I initially reached that “magical” number through a weight loss program I was on a temporary high.  But I soon found that number didn’t actually provide the lasting feeling of happiness and contentment I was searching for.  Because true happiness comes from within.    

However; as I continue this work to love myself as I am and find true happiness and contentment in what currently is, I find myself getting impatient.   Why is it so hard to stay true to myself and my new values?  If I’m totally honest, lately I often find myself in a bit of a conflict.  Maybe I should count calories so I will stay committed to not eating my feelings (or having more than one glass of wine) after a long, trying day with the kiddos!?  What if I don’t end up losing the excess fat that my doctor says will come off after I get my dental work done and detox from mercury toxicity.

But then I remember the truth -I now know these worries that crop up are merely a reminder that something else is out of balance and needs addressing.  It’s just a sign that I still have things to learn and no amount of controlling my weight will bring me the answers I truly seek.  I’d rather find the way to maintain my current weight and also enjoy my life, than keep yo-yo dieting and obsessing over a number on the scale.

I am grateful that I have amazing mentors in my life to remind me of this amazing new way of seeing weight and eating challenges.  Dynamic Eating Psychology changed my entire life.  What I was doing wasn’t working.   I don’t really want to hate myself into a physical change. What I am doing now, learning to trust my body and find what does work long term is what I am committed to.  And deep down I know I can trust this new way of relating to food and body.

The stages of metamorphosis can be messy, but the butterfly that emerges only shows beauty.  And sometimes it’s just a matter of being patient until your wings are ready.