Compassion with self is so important in the different changes we may go through in personal transformation. When I first gave up dieting (before I met the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, I had been on a diet for over 20 years) I felt more secure about my change in mindset. Sure, when I initially reached that “magical” number through a weight loss program I was on a temporary high. But I soon found that number didn’t actually provide the lasting feeling of happiness and contentment I was searching for. Because true happiness comes from within.
However; as I continue this work to love myself as I am and find true happiness and contentment in what currently is, I find myself getting impatient. Why is it so hard to stay true to myself and my new values? If I’m totally honest, lately I often find myself in a bit of a conflict. Maybe I should count calories so I will stay committed to not eating my feelings (or having more than one glass of wine) after a long, trying day with the kiddos!? What if I don’t end up losing the excess fat that my doctor says will come off after I get my dental work done and detox from mercury toxicity.
But then I remember the truth -I now know these worries that crop up are merely a reminder that something else is out of balance and needs addressing. It’s just a sign that I still have things to learn and no amount of controlling my weight will bring me the answers I truly seek. I’d rather find the way to maintain my current weight and also enjoy my life, than keep yo-yo dieting and obsessing over a number on the scale.
I am grateful that I have amazing mentors in my life to remind me of this amazing new way of seeing weight and eating challenges. Dynamic Eating Psychology changed my entire life. What I was doing wasn’t working. I don’t really want to hate myself into a physical change. What I am doing now, learning to trust my body and find what does work long term is what I am committed to. And deep down I know I can trust this new way of relating to food and body.
The stages of metamorphosis can be messy, but the butterfly that emerges only shows beauty. And sometimes it’s just a matter of being patient until your wings are ready.